Wir tanzen nicht

I surprisingly saw my ex today.
It was a rude appearance into a
present conversation I had with another.
I can't say I hated it.
It felt weird seeing her face again as
she was ushered in by another man.
I quieted my voice and moved to the
other side of the room.
There was a seemingly synched glance
into each other's eyes which made me pout.
So I sat in a chair and starting reading
a book to shake off the uneasiness.
I admit there were days when I
desperately wanted her back just so
that I could feel loved.
A little affection to calm my heart.
In more ways than one I don't have
the key to that door, nor is
it worth trying.
If there's any consolation prize I'd prefer
to say it was when she smiled best in
my arms as her youth started blooming.
If we shared anything now besides the past
it would be that our hair has lengthened.

Jon's note

Miss, if there was a time I could bridge the distance between us I'd attempt to love you even in my insecurities. To fight through the negative thoughts. To give it my all and tell you how I feel about you. I set you on my heart last night as someone I must know more about. Yesterday all I could do was stare into your eyes, but today I want to talk with you. To know if your someone I can call lover. My sadness which laid quietly over my daily life. Pushing myself to break and tell the truth. The frustration that lead me to wrecking my room before leaving for work. The days I drive myself into discontent and I'm sleeping on a cold bathroom floor, I know'll you be there to help. I remember my shortcomings and things I must achieve. The long gaze at a woman's face. Her cheeks, nose, eyebrows, lips, and eyes. She's ever so unique. I start to wonder; if she was mine's, if I stood a chance, what I've done to hold a woman as fair as her? I relax, feel my heart beat quicken, think, and write down all I felt. If ever a man left her searching for love of another, I want to be there at her side. If you could fall in love with me again Lochan, I'd give it my all. As I value you more than I feel in myself. Lately I've been in the lowest of spirits and uncertainty. Blue eyes,if you could me love at my darkest, you'll have my heart.