Tonight’s the night for a Cowboy

The atmosphere was thick, unmistakably the the scent of merry flirtatious couples. The fragrance made by lips lubricated by a tongue was the spark to a fuse.  With each intimate embrace I could predict where this was going. They were like two  intertwined hands, every movement brought them closer, caressing the other’s flesh with a soft touch.  As the atmosphere got more humid, they would glide and grab for more than just the boney fingers.  As the intimate motions elevated and the sitting furniture could not contain them I knew my time here was done.  I realized there is nothing here for me, nothing to gain.  Is there a place for he who has not been given roses?  I gathered  my coat and belongings in silence. I was the unneeded spare tire, outcast, and background character.  If I stay, I would be the anchor blocking them from achieving further goals.  That would ruin my reputation of which I wouldn’t want against me.  The audience did not have eyes for me.  My solitaire seat at the card table pressing buttons on a laptop.  I walked to the front door, peeked through the blinds.  It was raining or drizzling I couldn’t tell.  I stepped to the door and turned the knob.  I thought “Tonight’s the night for a Cowboy”.  I thought it was really cool, like the words of a leader rallying supporters.  I was the lone wolf out to make a change. Power in struggling legs that crack and give under pressure.  Raise with the strenght of a thousand men.  I only had the ambition of embracing in my loneliness, the sensation of crunching deeply into a fruit gushing with flavor with the juices dripping down my neck.  I exited and left into the night,deserted night life of flashing cars. I crossed the rainy streets towards home. The pavement swallowed all it could, the open mouth drains gobbling more, water inches deep slide across my path. I finally got to a side street void of passing cars. I pulled out a bottle of liquor I stashed away. I twisted off the cap, seductively licked the rim. I putt the bottle to my lips and drank feeling proud, lost, unsure, and confused.  My victory was minor I haven’t conquered  the main problem.  I’ve grown but limited, I’m still facing something that causes me downfall.  Am I in control or falling under? Is it normal to feel like this?  Am I developing into success?  I pondered many thoughts walking in a rectangular pattern between two puddles.   Who am I becoming?  It’s just my time…to feel the blues.