A present for her

I'll always be weak for you. Speechless I loved you, I hated you. It started with you the long gaze across the field grew from the faraway glances down the hallway as we separated ourselves further. I wrote something for you praising your existence, I think it was well wrote. From afar still I wish you the best on this special day. You could tell me you don't love me and I would know full well. Same here I do not feel that way for you. You knew the form I held before they pulled me away from you and locked the door as I was kicked out. I could have loved you more in that form. Its the leftover feelings and regret that never loses their luster and hardly fade. I didn't say goodbye and wave. I'm ashamed truly if you saw me. You don't love "me" but "me" of then. My afterschool crush now that I'm yearning for love I can remember you at the beginning of it all. I want you even now before it became complicated. Relationships, friends, responsibilities I never asked for all the hassle. It became the hardest thing to do and I lost it all. Attempting to fullfil teenage impulses I grew up and forgot it all. We lost our hiding place among evening hours as they exposed and played with our secret. If she doesn't love me anymore I want to know after I leave, but if she feels something lingering on inside I'll stay and wait the whole night until she can answer. Happy Birthday.