"A thousand thoughts, A torn love letter, courage, words for a prayer, wisdom spill through the cracks of my grip"
Do I belong here?
When the gerbera fall, I'll stand facing the sun. Against the steaming bench I'll stand still as vehicles passby. I pretend I'm much more flamboyantly dressed just like those great visual kei bands. I'm waiting for something, I'm not quite sure. The buses are nowhere to be found or driveby too fast. Perhaps I'm already there or the journey has no end. Slowly my head leans back and a ray of sunlight enters my eyes. Exhaling with frustration it feels like my body was slightly choked by carbon dioxide then released a few seconds later. A silhouette creeping from the park bench draws closer. Too unbalanced is my mind, weary of problems I try to label or recklessly solve. Slithering through the blades of grass reaching my shadow. A pair of small fingers that meet at the bottom of my chest. Arms placed around my hips. A faint body heat from my upper backbone and toes touching my ankles. With a skull on my shoulders, I smelt the aroma of fruits from hair laying on my neck. Without checking I could already sense it was you. It's unbecoming of me, but I'm scared to see your face. Not for fear of who you are but the insecurities inside me. You are important but my emotions register you as something more in a gap unfilled. Such tender hands each time I hold them we are placed in an impromt situation. I know the moonlight days are hazardous without your picture in my pocket, and after a glance I rest peacefully. This month the symptoms of this gap multiply and increasing loneliness. Not today does the fairy covered in candy and roses fly. Not today have any of my insecurities dissolved. I lower my head out of the sunlight and put my right hand on her hands. Not today have I forgotten the times we shared on the rivers edge. I hope that one of these many tomorrows I could find some answers. Someday seems so unreliable and inconsistent. I place my left hand on her head and feel soft strands of hair. Again today I still don't understand my life and all thats happened. Right now, I just want you to stay longer. Just as it is now, as we are here. Answers can wait until tomorrow. If it's waiting with you here that is.
Blushing about a Woman
im glad i spent with it you,
no matter how long
oh such a perfect day
if you just keep me looking on,
a warm distance looking at you.
i hope to draw the power for
my voice to become a flute,
fluently breathing a melody.
this place I don't snuggle into so easily
yet I fit into your over-shoulder glance.
cavity candy in my hand and a sweety in sight.
what percentage of the gummy snack will
stay after i chew? how much of your face will
you let me see before you leave?
oh, if I could just draw forth the strenght to
say hi just once to make this moment last.
when i think of you after sneaking a peep at you
i could see my thoughts swaying from above my head
few landing on my shoulders, in my open palm, and shirt.
descended gracefully like shreds of paper..
fondly i add these few memories with many
others alike. even so I feel that we were actors in
a timid love song. sheltered from the cold breeze,
to spend an afternoon shyly seated near this gorgeous woman
to grow from a quick glance into a fixated
gaze would make this day complete yet this was enough.
i feel less alone with each curious peek
we dont talk or anything else
she was so beautiful and it felt amazing
with each glimpse that met her eyes.
Transitions
When the sun is open for these hours I can't help but think that today could be the day of days. If lifes about learning from the past then its already accomplished after a goodnights sleep. Surely i was wrestling bed bugs for territory, my body has new bite marks.Like ants in search of food, people spread out in multiple directions without haste. Naturally I split in two and grow a siamese twin being dragged on the ground in a black outline. Traveling as a pair brothers sharing everything including a soul. "It's boring today", "i need new music on my playlist", and "if only I was less timid" phrases repeated in cliche events. The entity of time pushing my twin into an obtuse angle alerts the masses its almost time to return home. Impatient to go home the first to fade is the scenery of trees, grass, buildings. Squeezed out of their color as the quality of light recedes. The people on the bus huddled together lost their inherited hues and replaced with a color I could not describe. Is this the true skin of a human, our forgotten form? I reach my doorstep as the sun closes his eyes and the moon meiser takes the center stage in the celestial sky. My queen sized bed placed at the feet of a moon. "Stop your constant squirming!" said Moon Meiser, as clouds dispearse to expose constellations. Hearing my dislike of night the Moon Meiser began talking to me. "The reason why you hate the nightlife so much is because a spotlight is focused on yourself now that the sun has closed its eye. In daylight, attention is paid to fulfilling responsibilities and keeping your image. As the light outside your window scatters, the lit walls encase you under a magnifying lens. In an excessive release of Freudian slips, sealed urges become known and we are not so attractive in the dark. Don't hate the night keep your eyes upon me I shall hide them behind your eyes if you do this for me. That sparkle in your eyes tangled in confusion reminds me of a star drifting off course. The distance between dreams and reality spreads yet brought together by hope. The stardust that glitters inside of a breeze hides strenght you seek. Maybe if you could see it, you would understand and love yourself to grow into such a person."
When the gerbera fall, I'll stand facing the sun. Against the steaming bench I'll stand still as vehicles passby. I pretend I'm much more flamboyantly dressed just like those great visual kei bands. I'm waiting for something, I'm not quite sure. The buses are nowhere to be found or driveby too fast. Perhaps I'm already there or the journey has no end. Slowly my head leans back and a ray of sunlight enters my eyes. Exhaling with frustration it feels like my body was slightly choked by carbon dioxide then released a few seconds later. A silhouette creeping from the park bench draws closer. Too unbalanced is my mind, weary of problems I try to label or recklessly solve. Slithering through the blades of grass reaching my shadow. A pair of small fingers that meet at the bottom of my chest. Arms placed around my hips. A faint body heat from my upper backbone and toes touching my ankles. With a skull on my shoulders, I smelt the aroma of fruits from hair laying on my neck. Without checking I could already sense it was you. It's unbecoming of me, but I'm scared to see your face. Not for fear of who you are but the insecurities inside me. You are important but my emotions register you as something more in a gap unfilled. Such tender hands each time I hold them we are placed in an impromt situation. I know the moonlight days are hazardous without your picture in my pocket, and after a glance I rest peacefully. This month the symptoms of this gap multiply and increasing loneliness. Not today does the fairy covered in candy and roses fly. Not today have any of my insecurities dissolved. I lower my head out of the sunlight and put my right hand on her hands. Not today have I forgotten the times we shared on the rivers edge. I hope that one of these many tomorrows I could find some answers. Someday seems so unreliable and inconsistent. I place my left hand on her head and feel soft strands of hair. Again today I still don't understand my life and all thats happened. Right now, I just want you to stay longer. Just as it is now, as we are here. Answers can wait until tomorrow. If it's waiting with you here that is.
Blushing about a Woman
im glad i spent with it you,
no matter how long
oh such a perfect day
if you just keep me looking on,
a warm distance looking at you.
i hope to draw the power for
my voice to become a flute,
fluently breathing a melody.
this place I don't snuggle into so easily
yet I fit into your over-shoulder glance.
cavity candy in my hand and a sweety in sight.
what percentage of the gummy snack will
stay after i chew? how much of your face will
you let me see before you leave?
oh, if I could just draw forth the strenght to
say hi just once to make this moment last.
when i think of you after sneaking a peep at you
i could see my thoughts swaying from above my head
few landing on my shoulders, in my open palm, and shirt.
descended gracefully like shreds of paper..
fondly i add these few memories with many
others alike. even so I feel that we were actors in
a timid love song. sheltered from the cold breeze,
to spend an afternoon shyly seated near this gorgeous woman
to grow from a quick glance into a fixated
gaze would make this day complete yet this was enough.
i feel less alone with each curious peek
we dont talk or anything else
she was so beautiful and it felt amazing
with each glimpse that met her eyes.
Transitions
When the sun is open for these hours I can't help but think that today could be the day of days. If lifes about learning from the past then its already accomplished after a goodnights sleep. Surely i was wrestling bed bugs for territory, my body has new bite marks.Like ants in search of food, people spread out in multiple directions without haste. Naturally I split in two and grow a siamese twin being dragged on the ground in a black outline. Traveling as a pair brothers sharing everything including a soul. "It's boring today", "i need new music on my playlist", and "if only I was less timid" phrases repeated in cliche events. The entity of time pushing my twin into an obtuse angle alerts the masses its almost time to return home. Impatient to go home the first to fade is the scenery of trees, grass, buildings. Squeezed out of their color as the quality of light recedes. The people on the bus huddled together lost their inherited hues and replaced with a color I could not describe. Is this the true skin of a human, our forgotten form? I reach my doorstep as the sun closes his eyes and the moon meiser takes the center stage in the celestial sky. My queen sized bed placed at the feet of a moon. "Stop your constant squirming!" said Moon Meiser, as clouds dispearse to expose constellations. Hearing my dislike of night the Moon Meiser began talking to me. "The reason why you hate the nightlife so much is because a spotlight is focused on yourself now that the sun has closed its eye. In daylight, attention is paid to fulfilling responsibilities and keeping your image. As the light outside your window scatters, the lit walls encase you under a magnifying lens. In an excessive release of Freudian slips, sealed urges become known and we are not so attractive in the dark. Don't hate the night keep your eyes upon me I shall hide them behind your eyes if you do this for me. That sparkle in your eyes tangled in confusion reminds me of a star drifting off course. The distance between dreams and reality spreads yet brought together by hope. The stardust that glitters inside of a breeze hides strenght you seek. Maybe if you could see it, you would understand and love yourself to grow into such a person."
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