Boku Kaishuu 2(Kimi ga inaku naru)

For every story there was a scene that gave it life. A thought for each moment saturated with emotion. For every word a petal is plucked off till there is no more. Then I’ll bury them all in the ground as your voice fades. Soon I’ll water them with tears because you’ve left.

To Melt(tokasu)

On this gray day I'm going to get back my dvds from a friends house. Walking down the street my shadow disappears as to give the thought of my sins being erased and the cherry flavored twizzlers give me all smiles. Even though this trip is pointless and that door will never open I make this journey ignoring the facts. I hope this trips is worth it my Zune had charged all night. My heart yearns for companionship and a warm body other than mine to touch. Once upon a time my winter was like living on the equators line crossing the pacific ocean to Asia. And spring was me guiding my boat through the crushed icebergs and frozen waters of the arctic.. Yet this month is February, these 28 days are darkest even when morning rises, and time erodes away the mind. It's not standing still, its mocking me and showing me pictures of my x-ray with a missing heart. Today it snowed and the glow mixes with the black sky. The day I go the streets are empty and the time of mates finding and celebrating love everyone's inside having sex or cuddled together. Yet I continue walking and passing houses with filled parking lots and pictures of red and pink triangular hearts decorate stores. Walking up this hill I remember the surgery of when my heart was forcibly taken from my ribs. I waited for hours for the paramedics to arrive and the stitches didn't help stop the bursts or leaks that bled. The cold temperatures dry my tears and leaves them as ornaments on my face. Soon I arrive at my friends door with my happiest smile but I do not knock or leave the doorstep. The reason why it was pointless was that he left with his family months before. For this place will never give me the happiness I once knew of and I've lost someone and everything important to me. This world is too much alone and like this blowing snow, we are drifting farther apart.

Seiketsu(Purity)

I'll visit your house, sit outside, thinking aimlessly, wondering for nothing and wondering of why. All these questions spin and I play with each one with a keen smile and speechless smirk. I'm numbing out reality because all these cuts on my legs were from constant running and falling. I ran away from the man in the mirror that ate my shadow, the angry kids down the street and birds that aim their poop on my head. This place is too much to bear. So I aim to be as transparent as my hopes and wishes are to my hands. I know their playing somewhere, they hated this placed too and left me here. From behind me, she comes to pick up a boy of 12 years and carry him home, but he refuses and cries to stay. The sight if she could see as he did she would be breathless and laugh with the most enchanting of faces. But she does not and rushing to let her the boy rushes forth and breaks the glass. Through the vines of the sun and warmth of the moon running from his past no matter the cost I'll die to from what I was and myself who I hated. To something that would envy a butterfly and born erased from everything and alive anew. This new form is precious to me, all of that which reminded me of then I am now dying and shedding off. This tangible form please call it Seiketsu. With blood running from his left hand is and right arm is bleeding. He begins writing and pointing to what he saw. From this run down building and over the slope there's a field full of sakura trees that he would just love to play in.

Yumi

Days are long and disastrous I slowly see my dreams coming into view. Like a sunset of a long day its refreshing yet it tells of the darkness returning. I have music box for a heart which plays a saddening sound. Played with piano keys, flutes, and broken glass each note. The clear water looks as if its dissolving fears and returning feeling to numb bodies. So with you we'll go swimming, to enjoy the midsummer days and see you wearing a bathing suit. Into a pool I take your hand pleasing you is easy and everyday is fun by your side. Never leave me love. Jumping in for a great splash embracing your hand together we descend farther no longer needing air. The long minutes turn into hours and we grow gills to breath. The water is clear and full of chlorine. I wish for this endless dive to continue and these feelings overflow like the pressure and water around us. Through the pool pipes we are sucked into the ocean's consuming waves. Where we end up, if we will return to land, we are surrounded by this love without end. If the waters freeze our embrace shall remain and drift forever undisturbed by the world around us. Heal me with your touch, kiss, look, and words surely then those fake lies will be forgotten. I love you very much Yumi very much.

Mirai Kaigi(Future Meeting)

The words are vague but come back to lips with a simple sound and spark. Those rushing emotions filled with passion,hate, pain, and longing come clear as paint on a white wall. This returning season of when I unconsciously became lost in a place which I love by the things I loved but lost. Reaching for another women's hand, that plan was simple but finding 1 to return such affection was the hardest part. Seeing couples together and enjoying their time with special events was painful. Never so have I felt so alone when I'm surrounded on all sides. I abandoned the list of events and outside through the glass became my television. Silently cheering and hating each moment more, alone I was, alone I felt. I reach into my chest and twist the music box to play a tune to ease the mind, but the noise is greater than this little box can do so its overtaken into a whisper. This year I hope it will be better than the last, I so wish to find the warmth of a woman's hand. I've grown more fond of asian women this year for reasons that are becoming clear and I've become a member of a awesomenacious group that raves. Like that night at the carnival I hope to attract a woman and talk to her erasing my shyness. May I attract her by being myself and keep her near always, learning more of her. Your sexy body is icing to my eyes and personality is what I shall spend time learning with great interest. I hope the parties are more exciting I have upgraded and learnt an arsenal of dance moves to capture your heart and share fun with friends. May we decorate this place with a mentally infecting bliss that encompasses us together in an abstract reality. I aim to please you, whoever that may be, I look forward to finding that answer. And after reality intrudes and everything distorted is arranged I pray you never forget me and to communicate through some method.

Ikebana

With a smile and conversation this season unknown to man begins a rainy river romance. Fields of orchids, sunflowers, roses, and tulips create the ground upon which we walk. We call this season "yokka kisetsu de aetara", we couldn't come up with something more simplistic. A shiny sun feeding the plants their food and a reflection for the trees near the river.your silhouette walking gathering flowers creating bracelets and charms placed upon your wrists. The plucked plants grow as fast as they were taken and become two smaller flowers. I fell to your side blending with the scenery we fall into the flower petals hidden from sunlight. Rainy days call for nights under the waterfalls shelter and gathering leaves for bed. The rain is miniature droplets of light on the surface of the river. Illuminating the fish and life below and your beautiful face as you cuddle beside me. I love you and you love me, this season i want you to indulge in this so if it ends you can find your way back. The world outside of this is one that we will inevitably return to yet know my hearts strings will always connect. Time passes and we lavishly enjoy and talks are endlessly leaving me with smiles gasping for air and flowers highlight your young beauty. Departing to your destination a deep kiss and wish are made. You my love will surely come back,with this electronic address I call your heart and feel an errored heartbeat. To resist fading this season becomes paused keeping it colorful and alive. No monochrome colors a place where our memories were born and love blanketed us in warmth. I'm sure this meeting was memorable because your image is played on my eyelids every time I close my eyes. Your silhouette is colored standing in the wind holding flowers.