"LIFE SEARCH SURVEY"
In this embrace our reasons become loveless. Not even pleasant actions can make it prettier. This world is just a snow globe filled with ornaments. With a strong bond it feels as if we'll meet. This constant spinning yet attached to gravel. As i throw paper airplanes they end up in a pile on the other side of the fence. My expiration date after birth I'm glad I don't but before it happens what will I do with my life? I thought you knew of some part-time job or great drinks to try as I wait for the answer. You always pace around the room in confusion while I'm in the bathroom ignoring you. A sunshine after a rainstorm is like getting my hair done for work. This time with you makes it all seem clearer as you watch me leave for work. Not a lot of things I know, do, say, listen to are meaningful but i live to protect what is most important. In this I may find a purpose and a career to pursue. The DNA of my skin and race irate me its like being dirtied with negative words and actions that categorize me without my permission. I wonder if I should make that my life's mission, become a scientist and start myself as a new race and reproduce with selected women, nothing serious but just plain sexual entertainment. Surely Dolly was at this place in life a couple years ago. I found her old queen sized bed in the alley when I dumped my old twin sized bed. Dolly never told me why but I am starting to understand. I can't feel up the empty when I'm half full, I lack the backup plan,when the mainframe fails.
"SUIMIN'YAKU"
みてください
いってくだし
もういちどください
かいてください。またよるわたしわはねむらないで、かなしいですよ
Wavering in chairs the energy for twisted thoughts to write about are low. I swallow 2 nickels and teaspoon of mercury. A song similar to what I would write fills my room with musical instruments as my room turns into karaoke with me singing. My trash can state of mind is being emptied with foreign words as the bass aligns with the symbols and guitar lead takes the song into a solo. As the music continues look at me, say it, repeat it with me. The walls are rearranged and we are split up. Repositioned killing increased my sins as dead bugs lay around me. Is this the color my sins created and blended together? The song changes and I'm confessing the murder of insect nephews, moms, cousins, and dads leaving evidence for the final moment of surrender. The sins outweigh good deeds and my body is dyed to black. Falling into a trap door I'm formally dressed with a woman in hand. A last waltz under a chandelier with you tonight is growing and further is my desperation for an answer. For you I'll give my all, by this hymn night slowly sways for two strangers. Soon a hymn is silent as I search for a way out a bottle. If I shake will it break? If I climb will I fall? Questions float as my vision is fleeting, lungs starve soon I feel nothing. An unknown location I am floating and limbs animated with string posed abnormally. The puppet thought of this as dust became thick and piled. Reuse me my purpose is not yet achieved my warranty is renewable as myself. Illusions play and my insides erode.
"Contact"
Where should we go? I ask as if I was talking to someone else. The wind blows pushing my hair dressing my animated shadow. Loneliness is attached to me, a friend I'm use to entertaining and hating for hours. An interruption in sleep as my bed is covered with dust. What promises did I make to lost loves? Hating me as everything was probably forfeited when our decisions differed and thought of each other as scum. The words don't always come to mind and I wish to remember you with feelings. The greater the feeling your revival in my life will never end. Cells releasing fluid threw veins fetch your forgotten smiles and picture less laughter. I will always remember you in audio less bliss. Distancing eyes search for where you are on this large aquarium planet.I could love you standing across the street, peeking through trees your face is shown. Your mean as I dream of you my mind creates static. Our meeting was random and stitched into my DNA as words became a fetus. Growing inside me it was something I wanted to protect always. I can finally root and cheer for you feeling less pain from memories buried. I saw you in many paintings and they show me what you exactly meant. My super heroine, friend, attractive person, person of a which I kept a silent love hide in my pocket. Looking up and gazing upon an open scenery do you wish to see me? Are you missing me? These words I never want to tell you for fear of hurting what was made. So I'll slip note after note with a hint i want you to catch.surely we both are clothed in mystery and secrets never shared, which I find attractive. I touch the fetus as it ages it becomes beautiful. In this changing world I pray for you, never forget this egg and your ability to fly. The cellular egg shall become a place I hide to remember submerged in precious memories. Whether the phone call was answered or not never have I regretted trying.
"Koubashii Basho de"
Walking along a dirt path our imagination transforms the scenery, with Claire softly holding hands. Wind whispering our theme as we walk, overused fancy phrases stir up childish smiles dipping them into paint placed on the path we walk. I feel reborn laughing this much its hard to stand. What games shall we play to waste time? Seeing you this way is too rare I want capture your image forever with eyes in which you are true beauty, in a wooden frame at my bedside. Displaced sheets, small apartment on the 4th floor, a compact place to keep my love close, a place to be happy. Wind smells sweet erasing our separate scents into one. Our destiny continues as 2 produce 1 seed placed in a vine swing. Set upon the child's wrist is a charm in which "Irogoto no Ko"is written. I embrace this child for we both raise and love its presence encased in a hug we 3 become closer. The song I sing resounds and a chorus is heard away in a distance. The surrounding is familiar as memories of our first meeting show before me. My hair has grown longer and the baby in my arms is now a mature man standing behind me. My dear Claire's beauty is untouched but has aged and looking into her eyes my image is reflected. Time has aged us Claire our walk together is ending, yet I wish for it to repeat. My selfish thinking is stopped as I look upon my son. My life will end yet live on in the memories and precious moments spent with my son on this journey. We share our last loved words and hugs with our son. Claire and I carve our names in a tree and join together sharing a kissing embrace vanishing slowly in beautiful air.
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